Zeus, You Are The Father!
BFG
$59
DESCRIPTION
Best for Running Laps Around Mortals
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS
HAIL ZEUS!!! God of the Sky, and Thirsty Shapeshifter. He turned into all kinds of animals to seduce goddesses, nymphs, and mortals. Swan. Cuckoo. Bull. (Also, Carl the Flamingo SWEARS Zeus morphed into a flamingo once to bone him.) According to God Sex Magazine, Zeus had 57 partners, 54 children, and countless ties for Xmas presents.)
BIGGER FRAMES, BETTER COVERAGE, SAME RUNNERS SWAG.
1 NO SLIP
A larger frame size with more lens coverage for all you beasts with gargantuan craniums the size of sputnik.
2 NO BOUNCE
Lighter and more durable frame material that eliminates bouncing even with a bigger frame.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 REFLECTIVE LENSES
Mirrored lenses to obscure the sinister look in your eyes without losing the ability to clearly see obstacles in bright light.
5 NO DEMOGORGANS
100% Guarantee against Demogorgon attacks. *Guarantee not applicable for any gainz taking place in the Upside Down.
6 AU/NZ LENS CATEGORY INFO
INTRODUCING ZEUS, YOU ARE THE FATHER.
Once he was dragged onto Ancient Greek Television to prove he fathered Ares, but before the results were read he threw lightning bolts at Maurice, the God of Dramatic Reveal. The spirit of Zeus currently lives on in furries.
